In this day and age, if you possess any level of celebrity, then you are going to be a target. And the worse the scenario, the bigger the target you are. How many Michael Jackson jokes did you hear last year? I rest my case.

So imagine my pleasure when I saw this out there.

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Hey there dear reader. I’ve recently gone through some changes in my life. To get right to it, I’ve started using Mozilla’s Thunderbird email client, and now it’s a lot easier to manage multiple email accts through the one interface. I realize that that’s soooo 2005, but I’m slowly catching on.

The point here, though, is that I’m going to be no longer checking my Yahoo email address, and if you read this and would like to pre-empt the email I’ll be shortly sending out, feel free to text me or send an email and I’ll update you as to how to address any future emails to me.

Thank you for your readership.

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So here I am, on the throne
Quietly crapping, all alone
And as I type on my website (they’re all the rage)
My girlfriend is commenting on my Facebook page

I posted something, and she went to see
And posted her comment right back to me
If she’d spoken to me, that’d been just fine
But in this day and age, it’s all online

And so I wondered, “what’s the appropriate play?”
How to respond in just the right way?
The answer came quick, cuz I’m no chump
I wrote me a poem while taking a dump

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Zeno watching mashups…

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3 people have responded to the change in my site’s look.  2 of the 3 didn’t like it.  Well, excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse ME!!!

However, a 66% disapproval rating kinda confirmed it for me.  Time to change it up.  WordPress has had some neat additions and widgets and abilities come along in the recent months, and so I’m still playing with some of that.  There will be a link to my Twitter page, which I’m learning to use, and there will be a link to my Flickr page, which I’m trying to be more active with.  And then there are the “featured” posts, much like with the last theme I was using where there will be more images and general flashiness.  Not too much, mind you, just enough to get you, the reader, all twitterpated.

Stay tuned…work in progress.

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Here is my brain dump from the last little while:

• Buckethead is an interesting fellow.  He releases something silly like 5-10 albums a year.  Granted, they all start to run together after a while, but it’s still infinitely better than listening to the radio.  It’s as though he has only 5 albums to date, but they each have 276 songs apiece, and were each released slowly and simultaneously over a 20 year span.  Tonight I’m cooking a chicken and as it cooks, I’m trying to decide how I’m going to deal with the cooked bird after it’s done.  As always, a beverage and some music while I go into Zen-cooking-activity mode and I thought, “Why not Buckethead for repentance  and inspiration?”  And I made it so.
• Speaking of “making it so”.  Here’s some of the funniest stuff I’ve ever seen in a LONG time.  “Happy in Paraguay”.  What some folks do in their spare time.  I love teh internets!
• Today the Seahawks played at home.  I had planned on riding down to the general area of the stadium and meeting up with a couple buddies down there.  However, it was pretty cold and I didn’t want to have to deal with ice anywhere on my bike, so I decided against that.  Normally, it’d be a done deal and who cares, right?  Right, but in addition to that, I’d already made plans with my buddy and he was going to bring a GPS unit for me to borrow, and at that point Project GPS was Go Mission and I was obligated to get there somehow.  As it happened, I ended up driving down in my girlfriend’s rig and retrieving the unit.  She had to get to work still, so I was kinda wondering the best way to get to the freeway from over by the two stadiums, because hey, I ride a bike usually, I don’t know about traffic.  Not only traffic, but during a ballgame and in a section of town I usually don’t party in?  Oh great…this will be fun.  And then it dawned on me.  Uhhhhh….you just picked up a GPS unit from a friend.  Uhhhhh….USE IT!  OH YEAH, that would be AWESOME!  Whew…disaster averted!
• I had strange dreams last night.
  • At one point, I was in the Anchorage airport and I couldn’t find my bags.  I remember in my dream thinking REALLY hard, “Do I have just one bag, or two and what the hell do they look like?”  Needless to say I had a hard time trying to locate my luggage.
  • Another time, I was in the woods.  The woods were very like Juneau, wet and mossy and temperate rainforesty…  I stop in the trail because a full on Fuck-you-I’m-from-Africa lion is running like hell to save its life through the woods across the trail right in front of me.  WTF!  Flash to me and Veronica kinda jogging through a clearing in the woods, trying to get away from something or to some specific place and we are in a hurry, but we’re tired so instead of sprinting we are more like loping along.  Oh yeah, and it’s winter.  I don’t know where our destination was, but we went into the base of a huge tree that had fallen over  toward a cliff face and the inside of it was hollowed out, and we were going to use that as a way to climb up to the top of the cliff and keep going.  In typical Hollywood style, as I boosted Veronica up into the inside of the log/tree, I looked back and about 100 or so yards back, here comes this damn lion and he’s on our trail.  And it’s winter.  He’s a damn lion.  In AK.
  • At another point, Veronica, and I were at a Burger King inside an airport or a mall or something like that.  I was hungry and she wasn’t, so I ate while she used the waterslide that he had at our table.  For our exclusive use.  I think each table had its own waterslide.  Hmmmm…
• My buddy Dave had to put his dog down last month.  That was a bummer.  Pimba was a red heeler, and as such, she was a really intelligent dog to the point of being a pain in the ass.  She thought for herself and if you told her something she didn’t like, she would growl at you and let you know she thought you were full of shit.  Anyway, she’s now taking a dirt nap and we all miss her.
• I’m getting tired of basting that chicken, but only because I don’t have the squirty baster thingy.  I’m having to use a ladle and tilt the pan and all that, so I’m whining a bit.
• Dave also went to Australia and New Zealand last month.  It was my job to make sure his bunny and his cat were fed and dealt with appropriately.  That was weird, since Pimba wasn’t there, being a pain and nipping at the kitty at every chance.  The point here is that while he was gone, I had his car.  In the 2 weeks he was gone, the weather went from coldish and wettish to Frozen Nuggets in Spandex!  I rode my bike in to work for the first time in two weeks last Friday and I thought they were going to fall off and shatter in the shoulder of the road.

Okay then, I’ll post more and oftener and I’ll post a post about that very thing here tomorrow.

Remember:  Happy little trees!

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Guess what? It’s Mastodon!

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Okay, so I got one element working. That’s the “featured content” feature, which features a given post by allowing you to upload a large, custom image that suits the aforementioned featured content.

Gonna try some others in here to see how/when they affect each other. See you in a bit.

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Yep…haven’t posted in 2 months. Finally got The Email from Dudeman saying, “You suck, post or die!” And since I was bored with the old layout, I decided to change it up again. The next few posts are going to be tests of the Standard Operating Procedure of this new layout.

There you have it.

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Here I am, surfing the iPhone app store. I recently switched to AT&T so that I could start getting used to the iPhone, cuz Dave wants to write apps for it. So every day I try to think of what might make for a good app and then I search the app store at iTunes.

Recently I was looking for bicycle-related apps since I’m a bike dude, so I was searching terms like “cycling”, “bicycling”, “bikes”, “bicycles”, and when I typed in “cycle”, I found a bunch of apps concerning the ‘menstrual cycle’. WHOA!!! I mean, I guess that just makes sense, cuz that’s kind of a big deal for a number of reasons, all pertaining to one BIG thing that most young people want to avoid, so okay…there’s a bunch of apps for it. But you know…I got curious. So I downloaded one of them.

I feel like I just read my girlfriend’s diary or something! I opened some sort of Pandora’s box and it can never be closed again! This app is CRAZY!!! Okay, sure, you can type in the start and finish dates of your last period, as well as how long in between cycles it usually is, and then as time passes, it will become more predictive for you as to when your friend will next show up. That would seem to be standard fare. But delve a little further and it starts to make one (if male, like myself) feel a little crunchy, like I furnished a false password and am now in some place that I shouldn’t be. AND I’m about to be found out at any moment!

When you open the app, it asks you to furnish when you had your last period, and when you choose any specific date, there’s an option to choose whether you had intercourse or if your period started on that date. I chose intercourse. It then asked me if it was protected or unprotected! WHAT!!! Who are the dirty whores downloading this app?

Well, me, for one. But I digress.

When I went back into the setup portion (always start with a new program by setting up your preferences, it helps one understand just what the program in question is capable of) to adjust parameters, it asked me to input my Luteal Phase. Off to Google I went and found out what that shit meant. Then I was asked if I wanted my Fertile Days to be displayed. Uh, no.

So that was interesting to say the least. However, I was still doing research for the brilliant app that I have in mind and so I went back to the app store. I typed in more search terms and saw many apps that made differing levels of sense in my mind, from the idiotic-but-I-suppose-that-matters-to-some kind of apps to the (like the above-mentioned app) holy-crap-I-had-no-idea-because-I-don’t-live-there kind of apps. At one point though, and I suppose it just makes sense, I did stumble upon a couple of apps that were based on the sex-offender registry idea. Holy shit! If I know ONE thing, it’s Never Look Up Sex Offenders Online. Why? Because you’ll find out where they are! And they are in your neighborhood! Now…I don’t have children, so I don’t worry as much about this as some, but I don’t wanna know that shit! I’d like to think that the nice person walking their Akita at night in our neighborhood simply has that dog because it’s a beautiful animal, and not because they are fiercely loyal to ONE person and will fight to the death for them…and that maybe this person is a sex offender and they need that kind of protection. No thanks, I’d like to think otherwise as the dog (who is as big as a fucking horse) looks me right in the eye and silently challenges me every time I walk by. I’m stupid enough too, to fall for that shit…and I stare right back and the owner has to physically pull him along, cuz this dog ALWAYS wants a piece of me. Funny thing is…I KNOW that dog would rip me a new one too, but I can’t stop letting him know that I’m still higher on the food chain, or totem pole or pecking order. Whatever…try to light a lighter, pal. Try to hitch-hike. Not so easy with paws is it? Fuck you, I’m going to the bar!

Anyway, I learned something new today at the ol’ app store. There is always something out there for you, no matter what your taste.

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