Archive

Archive for the ‘random crap’ Category

bathroom follies

April 12th, 2011 No comments

You know the sound that you hear in the movies when the antagonist (or protagonist, I guess) gets slipped some ExLax and their guts make that super gurgling sound, telling the audience that there’s going to be some Serious Trouble shortly? My guts made that sound as soon as I got to work today.

But that’s not the point of this email.

I went to the bathroom and dealt with my issues, and as I was in there, somebody came in and sat down in the stall next to mine.

Why do people mutter at their creations? The guy next to me sounded genuinely surprised at what he had ejected from his body. “Acorns? When have I eaten acorns?” “Is that a pterodactyl bone?” “I certainly have never seen THAT color before!”

Needless to say, I waited until he was outta there to finish up and leave. Don’t wanna run into Capt Crazy AT your place of work. Or at least not in that particular section of the building…

Popularity: 44% [?]

Categories: random crap Tags:

haikus

November 30th, 2010 No comments

At some point last night I couldn’t sleep.  I was in the middle of not quite a dream, but rationality was starting to break down as far as my thoughts were concerned.  I had built some buttons in Adobe Fireworks last night and was testing its ability to export the HTML code and as I was falling asleep, I was debriefing myself as to why the code it had generated was inferior to hand-coding your own buttons.  At any rate, I was just entering the dream state where the Up, Down, and Over states of each button were starting to take on new and weird meanings.  I just vaguely remember that maybe I was physically trying to push buttons that were the size of a shoebox, or watching somebody else do it when BAM – awake!

Right now Veronica and I are firing up the essential oils in the diffuser pretty much 100% during waking hours.  At first, for me, it was helping with the gnarly cold I got a few weeks ago, but now I just like how the place smells when you put eucalyptus and tangerine in it and let ‘er rip all day.

When I woke up I realized that the candle was still going and it must be near its end, cuz the flame was flickering pretty violently and was casting a crazy light show on the ceiling.  This got old real quick.  At first I lay on my  side and tried to shut my eyes and not think about, but, even though I wasn’t worried about burning the house down, I was compelled to open an eye and watch the shadows jumping around on the ceiling.  This made my eye get muscle spams, because the display was like being at a rock concert when they kick in with the strobe lights.

This went on for what felt like a week.

I got to the point where I started writing haikus in my head because I was getting sick and tired of the damn candle not going out.  The damn thing just held on like that one little turd that just won’t flush.  Whatever…please to enjoy haikus.

flickering shadows
the dying of a candle
annoying as hell


stunted northern lights
like a drunk with a flashlight
haphazard are they

the heat of this bed
a sauna isn’t this hot
could lose weight this way


she sleeps next to me
nowhere would I rather be
her scent is a drug


bubbling laughter
rolls from her mouth in slumber
what is she dreaming?

There were more, but that’s all I can remember for the moment.  Eventually I got back to sleep and all was right in the world.

Popularity: 20% [?]

Categories: random crap Tags:

you know what I could do without?

September 24th, 2010 No comments

I could do without aggregator sites that don’t link DIRECTLY to the item in question.  I go to Popurls.com a lot to see what the kids are looking at on teh internets these days.  Sites like Digg and Reddit provide links to internet memes, and popurls.com provides links to the most popular links from all the various sites out there like Digg and Reddit.

The problem that you sometimes run into is that some sites will display a headline that is sure to suck you in.  For example, if I see a headline or a link that says “Naked Sword-wielding Goddess on Bike Bakes Cookies in Her Own Brewery While Playing Guitar[NSFW]“, uhhhh, well, I think I’d like to see pictures of that.  But when you click the link, you get routed to a site that has a bunch of other links on it (including said link) and you have to click again.  Or maybe it takes you to a site that is basically a forum with everybody’s responses and then you have to sift through all those responses to find the link you were looking for.

Folks, one rule of website design, ESPECIALLY if you are selling a product, dictates that nothing should be more than 3 clicks deep into a site.  The reason I’m going to an aggregating site in the first place, is that I’m too lazy and I want all of the internets’s's’ss awesome to be right in front of my stupid face!  RIGHT STUPID NOW!

Funny thing about the links above is that Teh Internets has been saying that Reddit is causing the demise of Digg.  I don’t know why, because Reddit is one of those forum-type sites that you have to go searching for the link in question, and I find it to be a little tedious.  I know that part of the appeal is the comment section, because there are some hilarious comments left by funny people, but if I want that as an entertainment stye, I’ll go to Fark.com, as they seem to be the king of that style.

Okay, I’m done.

Popularity: 31% [?]

dvd project

September 22nd, 2010 No comments

It all started with a phone call.  Zeno called one day to ask about the proper technique in changing an innertube because he’d gotten 3 flats in one day.  As I was talking him step-by-step through the process, which included patching a tube as well, I got a brilliant idea.  I thought, Hey! Why don’t I film me swapping a tube out and I’ll send him the DVD so he can see what I’m talking about and that will take a lot of the guesswork out of the process?

That was back in May or June?  In that time the simple idea turned into skit ideas and I got this crazy idea to film a bunch of my daily activities and then compile and send a DVD of that.  Each day or week I would get another idea and I’d try to film or implement it and now it’s been like 4 months and I’m no closer to getting it done.

So today I’ve gotta go out and buy some blank DVDs and I’ll come back and see what exactly I’m up against.  I have PLENTY of footage, so it’s a matter of compiling and getting the sequence of ‘scenes’ in the proper order.  Wish me luck, I guess.

Popularity: 21% [?]

Categories: random crap Tags:

from the last roadtrip

September 14th, 2010 No comments

Veronica and I went to visit her mom’s side of the family last July. Seattle to Carson City, NV in one day and it was quite a haul. Saw a lot of nice scenery there and back though and this sunset was one such scenery that we were able to witness.



Popularity: 24% [?]

Categories: images, random crap Tags:

silly doggie…

September 14th, 2010 No comments

Jagermeister is for idiots! Even if your name IS Metallica (which it is).



Popularity: 12% [?]

Categories: awesome, images, random crap Tags:

a random image

September 14th, 2010 No comments

Last year at Bumbershoot I took my SLR with me and got a cool shot of Pacific Science Center after the sun went down.  This post is mainly for testing purposes, as the next few will be, but it’s a cool picture I think.



Popularity: 8% [?]

Categories: images, random crap Tags:

I’ll stop procrastinating tomorrow

July 15th, 2010 No comments

Oh hey!  We’re leaving for Reno tomorrow!  It’s 9:30pm and I ain’t done shit yet!  In fact, we, as a unit, haven’t done shit yet!  We gotta look in the fridge and see what we have and therefore what we can make to bring for food.  And that will tell us what we need to go to the store for, which we haven’t done yet.  Oh yeah…I gotta do some laundry as well.

Good thing we need to get up SUPER early to hit the road to make it there in one day.  Sweet…

And I haven’t charged all the batteries for my various electronic devices!  I hope the local grid is at 100% cuz I got the camera, the iPod, the HD camcorder, the beater old point-n-shoot and who knows what else I need to power up…

Hmmmm….let’s see how this goes.

Popularity: 24% [?]

Categories: random crap Tags:

dead people

June 2nd, 2010 No comments

In this day and age, if you possess any level of celebrity, then you are going to be a target. And the worse the scenario, the bigger the target you are. How many Michael Jackson jokes did you hear last year? I rest my case.

So imagine my pleasure when I saw this out there.

Popularity: 29% [?]

Categories: life n shit, random crap, teh internets Tags:

changes afoot…

May 29th, 2010 No comments

Hey there dear reader. I’ve recently gone through some changes in my life. To get right to it, I’ve started using Mozilla’s Thunderbird email client, and now it’s a lot easier to manage multiple email accts through the one interface. I realize that that’s soooo 2005, but I’m slowly catching on.

The point here, though, is that I’m going to be no longer checking my Yahoo email address, and if you read this and would like to pre-empt the email I’ll be shortly sending out, feel free to text me or send an email and I’ll update you as to how to address any future emails to me.

Thank you for your readership.

Popularity: 26% [?]

Categories: life n shit, random crap, teh internets Tags: