Here’s where it’s at, in no particular order:
- Whenever my awesome internet connection gets severed, I wanna stab the internet with a rusty dull thing. I had an epic post about my apparent Down’s Syndrome, but the internets freaked out and my post is dispersed throughout the ethernet now.
- We may or may not see that post ever.
- For the next 9 months, I work outdoors for the most part. There are pluses and minuses with that, with weather being the first entry on both sides of the argument. Sure, you’re outside, but sometimes it rains like a sonofabitch, and even though you may be under a tent, you’re pretty much left with a 5′x5′ patch of ground with which to perform all manner of bike tuneup-related tasks.
- But at least you can listen to any music you want while you do it.
- I dig Mastodon. They have a new album coming out in a few months. I can’t wait. Check this out.
- I’ve had the new Metallica album for a few weeks now, and I’ll say that it’s better than anything since the Black Album. There.
- I need to put fenders on my bike.
- Amy Sedaris is on Letterman tonight. She’s crazy. I like watching her on the show cuz they’re obviously comfortable around each other, and you never know what the hell she’s going to wear or say. Oooooooh, she’s edgy…
- Apple had some lineup changes recently. I’ll be replacing my MacBook Pro that got stolen recently, and I’m kind of bummed out. Yesterday, I would have been able to replace the that computer with an identical model, but with a faster processor, double the HD size and twice the RAM. Sounds good, I’ll take it! And today, those stats are the same or better, BUT the mousepad doesn’t have a button on it (MAJOR downside), and the monitor only comes in the glossy option (uh, yeah MAJOR downside, there folks). I don’t know, man… It does have a gnarly video processor, but I don’t know if I give a crap about that.
- Next month is going to be pretty exciting. Metallica, Buckethead and Zappa Plays Zappa shows are all coming to town in December-ish and I have tickets to all three. DON’T I, DAVE?
- That’s that for now.
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Is it a bike? Is it a snowmachine? Is it a jet ski? Fuck, I don’t know, but I’ve seen one cruising around Seattle this summer and I’m not sure if it’s awesome or just a really bad idea.
Decide for yourself. CLICK!
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I went camping last weekend with Doug and Jessica. I called one of the Marks I know and asked if we could go out to his cabin, to which this particular Mark replied, “We’ll be out there with friends…come on out.”
So we did.
We set up tents on the property and then we went and found a quiet little place out in the woods and shot clay pigeons for a couple hours. Later on, beer happened and then we went for a bike ride the next day and then we came home.
Cool! Here’s pics.
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While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher, who’s hand was caught in the gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Palin and her bid.
The old rancher said, “Well, ya know, Palin is a Post Turtle’”.
Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a ‘post turtle’ was.
The old rancher said, “When you’re driving down a country road you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a ‘post turtle”.
The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor’s face so he continued to explain. “You know she didn’t get up there by herself, she doesn’t belong up there, and she doesn’t know what to do while she’s up there, and you just wonder what kind of dummy put her up there to begin with”.
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Our bike shop is in the South Lake Union neighborhood of downtown Seattle. When Paul Allen decided that his neighborhood (he bought a lot of the properties in and around us) needed a trolley, well by golly, they started to build it. And since it’s the South Lake Union neighborhood, well by golly, it’s going to be called the South Lake Union Trolley. And then people caught on to it, and started referring to it as the SLUT. Even before it went online you could buy tshirts that say, “Ride the SLUT”. So they were forced to change the name to the Seattle Streetcar.
Too late. Everybody calls it the SLUT.
So the SLUT has a stop right in front of our bike shop. A SLUTstop, if you will. I went to a show the other night and I had to come to the shop to get my bike and gear on the way home. I was going to take the bus cuz it was raining like a mofo, so I just grabbed my gear and shoved it into the backpack and away I went. I didn’t make it even across the intersection when I managed somehow to get both wheels sucked into the SLUT tracks. As I started to tip over, I desperately tried to bunnyhop out of the groove I was in, but to no avail. If you’re a bike person, you’ll know the feeling of not being able to unclip from your pedals when you first tried clipless pedals… That was me, tipping right over. And sure enough, boom, right onto my right side, in the rain and all that. Now I have a sprained left thumb (don’t ask, I don’t know either), and the right side of my body is minorly bruised.
Stupid tracks….I got juiced!
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I got this email today and I laughed so hard, I figured I’d put it up for you to see.
Hooo doggy! Cold called Kolchuk last Wednesday from a concert. The day I called CK was the day those mucus guys from the commercial descended into my lower GI tract and proclaimed that I shall squirt de Hersheys for one week henceforth. Kowabunga! Just to clarify, the youngsters had to watch Pops trash his BVDs at the Home Depot bathroom (that is one guh-narly bathroom) cuz he tried to eke out a squeaker in the car on the way the depot and . . . yea, you’ve been there. Kids did get a kick out of Dad dookin’ in his trousers.
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How about this? This from a person calling themselves “Herwankiebank”. Is that the punchline to a joke or what? Here you go…
Your site has very much liked me. I shall necessarily tell about him to the friends
No. My site didn’t very much like you. In fact, it thinks you’re quite shady. I mean, really, it put your comment in the spam catcher. However I know that you will tell your friends, because that’s how spam works. “Hey I found another domain name we can send useless shit to! Come on, let’s go!!!”
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Normally when I check the spam filter for this site, it’s nothing but porn. A lot of it. I usually have to delete 50-100 “comments” left here by porn spammers, and the wording of their “comments” is hilarious. And the style evolves over time too. At first it was just straight up pussy-this, pussy-that and you could click any one of them. No thanks, I don’t want to take my computer to the clinic at this time.
Then the spammers would actually throw out random words in sequence so that it looked like maybe there was real information coming your way and you’d get tricked into clicking on it or something. But what it really looked like was if a dog had jumped up onto Stephen Hawking’s lap and was accidentally mashing buttons on that super-expensive Speak’n'Spell that he has, cuz the phrases were grammatically wrong, and in the middle, tucked in there, would be a link to, you guessed it…Some Kind Of Pussy.
Then came the Russian revolution and now I see mostly spam in cyrillic letters, and that’s easy. DELETE! But recently other things have been popping up from time to time as well. Like Jesus…
Here’s one I got today.
I can find the prayer I want. I thank God for this website.
Uhhhhh…thanks? My site is so awesome that you showed up here and now you thank God that you did? Kinda creepy, but thanks anyway.
The next day I was dumping spam again when I found this one. Jesus freaks are getting in on the spam now? Dear God, please save us from your followers…
I like this website. This website helped me with prayer learning. Good job. Thank you. Please provide more French prayers. Bye-bye.
Popularity: unranked [?]
One year, for chistmas, I hit the fucking jackpot! Under the tree were Lincoln Logs, Smash-up Derby cars, and the ultimate, the Evel Knievel Stunt Cycle! Holy shit, I was like a kid at christmas that day! I would build a house out of the Lincoln Logs, set up the ramps from the Smash-up Derby cars, and jump Evel Knievel over the house! HOLY CRAP, that was awesome, that’s what being a kid is all about!
Now I’m almost 40 and I don’t feel like much more than a teenager still albeit one with a bit more of a sophisticated taste in alcohols. So imagine my wonderment and elation when I found the Stunt Cycle online today. In fact, just read what Evel Knievel himself had to say about the damn thing!
“Next year the Ideal Toy Company is going to make a lot of Evel Knievel toys. … One toy I’d like them to make is my own idea; I think it’s the most super toy in the world. You wind it up, it goes like a little bugger, goes across the floor, grabs this little Barbie doll, throws her on the floor, gives her a little lovin’, jumps back on the motorcycle and goes whizzing out the door screaming, ‘G.I. Joe is a faggot!’ ” – Evel Knievel
Wow, people don’t exactly talk like that anymore, do they?
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Today marks the 7th anniversary of momentous occasion. Do you remember where you were on Sept 11, 2001? I do. I was at my sister’s place in MT with her and my dad. I remember that it was going to be a big day, and I was going to head right down to the store and buy me a CD. I didn’t get to, for obvious reasons, but it still was a day that I’ll remember for the rest of my life.
Yes folks, September 11th 2001 was the day that Slayer released what may be their best album to date. I realize that’s a tall order because we all know that Reign in Blood was a landmark album in the history of heavy music, but I’m gonna stick by that statement.
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