toof-es
Hey there crimestoppers!
I was eating a schnitzel sandwich last Thursday when I heard a firecracker go off, or maybe it was the ice cracking under my feet. Funny thing is, I wasn’t hiking on a glacier, nor was I playing with explosives. No, I was eating my dinner. So when I heard the noise, my brain said to me something like, “Hey, there’s that noise you hear in your dreams sometimes, but I think this time it’s for real.”
It was for real.
Of course, my first course of action was to get the Denial Machinery up and running. “OH NO YOU DINT!” But after sending my tongue out to do some intel gathering, I found out that, “OH SNAP! YOU DID!”
I had cracked one of my molars such that about 1/3 of it had calved off into my mouth. Oh goody. I say that because I am one the many Americans who are going to be affected one way or another by the current health care debate going on around us. Mainly because I don’t have any insurance.
The next day I made some phone calls and found that the University of Washington School of Dentistry takes patients and, since you essentially end up being a walking training session for some post-grad wannabe dentist, the rates are cheaper than going to a private practitioner. Hey, I live right by the UW, let’s go! It’ll be fun! Especially when I found out that they were going to have to install a crown. Me? A CROWN!? I know my name is a kingly name (not Chewy, my real one), but this is AWESOME!!! When I’m king, I’m going to make everybody ride a bike for a year before getting a driver’s license and I’m going to make Rainier available to every – what? Different crown? What the hell?
No, this sucks. I don’t want them to cut into my mouth and chop my gumline down to install a cap on my toof and…it’s going to cost money too!? Oh jesus…
What’s the moral of the story? Chuck E Cheese pizza is terrible, don’t eat it. I realize that it doesn’t relate at all to this post, but it’s a good maxim to live by.
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