Extra special awesome happy funtime thanks to Dudeman for going 100 miles out of his way to deliver the Nutter Butter Beater to me yesterday. I tuned it up this morning, and…oh my goodness. I know it’s only a $10 bike, but I’m such a bike snob that I’m going to be required to purchase the following items to get it to Satisfactory Condition: new brake calipers, as the ones on the bike are so utterly worthless that it feels as though you actually SPEED UP when you grab a handfull of brakes (yeah – not so much to my liking) and a new pair of shifters – these ones are the Hi-Tech Thumb-Breaking models and require so much torque to shift gears that I may not be able to hitch-hike ever again. After that, if I feel particularly uppity, I might replace the BB/cranks, and possibly the seatpost/saddle combo, but those aren’t necessary for Living The Good Life, as I intend to do on this sweet ride.

The only thing left is to give it a good name. No, I’m not going to give it a human name like stupid people are prone to giving their cars/trucks (sorry to everybody I know, since EVERYBODY I know gives STUPID human names to their vehicles)… No, I mean some kind of play on the Nutter Butter theme. Some possible names include: Nutter Butter Blaster, Nutter Butter Beater, Nabisco Speeder, The Smoothie…you get the idea. If you feel like commenting and leaving possible names for me, please do so. In the meantime, bask in the glory that is The Nutter Butter Piece of Crap!

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