October has been slow here at Chewy Kolchuk HQ, but it looks like I’m making up for it tonight…

-courtesy of xkcd.com

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Jewish Egg Donor Needed Locally

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• between working out in the field and having a soon-to-be-fixed crappy and unreliable internet connection, October is proving to be a sporadic and unpredictable month for posts
• Dean and I were on the freeway the other night (last night, in fact). We were in the far left lane when on the right, we both noticed a flash of light. Looking over toward the right lanes, I noticed a line of sparks shooting up into the air, but there was a car in the lane between us and the sparks, so I couldn’t immediately see what was going on. As the car sped up, I saw the source of the lightshow. Holy crap, there was a yellow crotch rocket motorcycle on its side, spinning like a top and moving at almost freeway speed, showering sparks in its wake. I looked back and was only able to get a split-second mental snapshot of the rider, sliding in the same lane, a few yards behind it all. We were ahead of all of it, and kept going because we could see that a number of people had pulled over to help, but holy shit… I feel bad for that guy, he must be in pain still. And the bike? Forget about it…
• Today I worked on a folding bike for a customer. Folding bikes are absolutely useless. The ONLY time (I’ve mentioned it on this site before, but I’m going to again) one is allowed to use a folding bike without being put before a firing squad is if it’s on their boat and they actually sail around the world and need to run errands on exotic islands and shit. That’s IT. But, like recumbents, people do own folding bikes and there’s a certain personality type attached to a folding bike owner. This particular dingdong paid for the work all in $2 bills. WTF!!! It’s one thing to have a couple of them, cuz some places, like WA state ferry terminals, seem to have a lot of them and you get them as change fairly often. But it’s another thing to have a wad of them. This guy? He told us how he just wanted to mess with people and so he ordered $1000 in two-dollar bills just so he could fuck with people. ???!!! A grand in 2s. The guy is as mentally sound as his folding bike is structurally sound, which is to say not very sound at all. His father should have pulled out early…
• MTV2 is having a week-long 20th Anniversary thing about their Headbangers Ball program. Kinda cool to see crappy metal music on that station rather than the crappy emo and indie music that you normally see.
• Indie music sucks. So does emo.
• December is going to be awesome.
• I can’t wait for the new Mastodon album to come out. I know I mentioned that in the previous post, but I just saw something saying that they are going out on tour with Metallica in Europe next summer. WHOA
• I bought a bass last year, and every night I pick it up and try to get better picking with my fingers. It’s a strange thing, switching back and forth between the guitar and the bass.
• I found the section of the Apple store where you can buy refurbished computers. I think I’m going to go that route, because I just can’t get behind the glass trackpad and glossy monitor of the newest iteration of the MacBook Pro.
• I got pressured into joining Facebook. That’s a strange one because of all the high school peeps I’m running into there.
• Did I mention Metallica, Buckethead and Zappa Plays Zappa all in a one month timeframe?
• Have you seen the commercial for Stride gum where the guy gets headbutted in the nuts by a goat? For physical comedy, that one gets me every time. Every single time, I giggle a little bit and my life enriched just a teeny bit…

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Here’s where it’s at, in no particular order:

1. Whenever my awesome internet connection gets severed, I wanna stab the internet with a rusty dull thing.  I had an epic post about my apparent Down’s Syndrome, but the internets freaked out and my post is dispersed throughout the ethernet now.
2. We may or may not see that post ever.
3. For the next 9 months, I work outdoors for the most part.  There are pluses and minuses with that, with weather being the first entry on both sides of the argument.  Sure, you’re outside, but sometimes it rains like a sonofabitch, and even though you may be under a tent, you’re pretty much left with a 5′x5′ patch of ground with which to perform all manner of bike tuneup-related tasks.
4. But at least you can listen to any music you want while you do it.
5. I dig Mastodon.  They have a new album coming out in a few months.  I can’t wait.  Check this out.
6. I’ve had the new Metallica album for a few weeks now, and I’ll say that it’s better than anything since the Black Album.  There.
7. I need to put fenders on my bike.
8. Amy Sedaris is on Letterman tonight.  She’s crazy.  I like watching her on the show cuz they’re obviously comfortable around each other, and you never know what the hell she’s going to wear or say.  Oooooooh, she’s edgy…
9. Apple had some lineup changes recently.  I’ll be replacing my MacBook Pro that got stolen recently, and I’m kind of bummed out.  Yesterday, I would have been able to replace the that computer with an identical model, but with a faster processor, double the HD size and twice the RAM.  Sounds good, I’ll take it!  And today, those stats are the same or better, BUT the mousepad doesn’t have a button on it (MAJOR downside), and the monitor only comes in the glossy option (uh, yeah MAJOR downside, there folks).  I don’t know, man…  It does have a gnarly video processor, but I don’t know if I give a crap about that.
10. Next month is going to be pretty exciting.  Metallica, Buckethead and Zappa Plays Zappa shows are all coming to town in December-ish and I have tickets to all three.  DON’T I, DAVE?
11. That’s that for now.

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Is it a bike?  Is it a snowmachine?  Is it a jet ski?  Fuck, I don’t know, but I’ve seen one cruising around Seattle this summer and I’m not sure if it’s awesome or just a really bad idea.

Decide for yourself.  CLICK!

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I went camping last weekend with Doug and Jessica.  I called one of the Marks I know and asked if we could go out to his cabin, to which this particular Mark replied, “We’ll be out there with friends…come on out.”

So we did.

We set up tents on the property and then we went and found a quiet little place out in the woods and shot clay pigeons for a couple hours.  Later on, beer happened and then we went for a bike ride the next day and then we came home.

Cool!  Here’s pics.

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While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher, who’s hand was caught in the gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Palin and her bid.

The old rancher said, “Well, ya know, Palin is a Post Turtle’”.

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a ‘post turtle’ was.

The old rancher said, “When you’re driving down a country road you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a ‘post turtle”.

The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor’s face so he continued to explain. “You know she didn’t get up there by herself, she doesn’t belong up there, and she doesn’t know what to do while she’s up there, and you just wonder what kind of dummy put her up there to begin with”.

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