I ran out of my normal deodorant the other day. OMIGOODNESS whatever shall I do?
Buy more.
I don’t buy anti-perspirant, cuz a human body needs to perspire and because they contain aluminum and what does aluminum contribute to, kids? I can’t remember…
Anyway, I bought some new stuff because the store in question didn’t have my normal stuff. Holy crap, this new stuff smells good!!! Like, I wanna grope myself when nobody’s looking kind of good.
So if you happen to run into me out on the street, take a whiff. You can thank me later.
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Yeah, we got broke into a couple weeks ago. And yes, the insurance company was all nice and helpful…”Oh we’ll just get a check out to you asap! Thank you so much!” So now that it’s been 2 weeks and no check, we’re being told that I need to find the receipts from the original transactions for my computer and camera. That makes sense, but why the fuck weren’t we told this at the beginning? Asshole.
So I call Apple. They sure as shit have my address and email, but “their records don’t go back more than 18 months” and so they can’t find my transaction record. If I was the IRS I bet they’d find the fuck out of that transaction receipt. Thanks for nothing. Asshole.
I call Frys where I got my camera. “Oh yes, we can get that for you. But you have to come in in person to get that.” FUUUUUCK!!! Asshole!
And to top it off? I just saw a traffic/parking cop give the UPS guy a ticket. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!? UPS guy? For real? Douchebag is just pissed cuz he doesn’t get to carry a gun, I bet. Way to go asshole!!!
Fuck this place, I’m moving to Finland…
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