I know what you’re thinking, but here’s why.

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I don’t know about you, but I’m totally getting some of these socks.

http://www.sockguy.com/product1087.html

Correction:  I totally just ordered some of these.  They should arrive in 4-6 business days.

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Here are a couple of links I got via email today.  Knock yourself out…

Best Cat Video Ever

2008 Tour de France pics

Stereobikes?

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The difference between friends and buddies is this:

A friend actually says thank you when you help them out.

My buddy Dave was just here and he was working on his bike when he ran into a snag.  “Okay Chewy, I need your help.”  So I went over, grabbed the part, made it look easy and walked away.  My thanks?

“Okay, FUCK you!”

That’s buddies.

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I thought this email from Oh_nice_hair was good enough to share

on my commute this morning I saw a prius, nothing unusual in this town, and was in the process of thinking about what an ass I had made of myself last Thursday when I assumed that someone was somebody else and almost got ran over for my efforts.  Anyway I see this woman and she seems to be socially conscious getting 54 mpg following the new washington laws with her blue tooth earphone jack and I just have to assume that everything about this woman is clean, forward thinking and law abiding.  Well as she makes the turn in front of me I see dangling out the window a cigarette.  That just seemed funny, made me laugh as I immediately thought about the tattoos that were probably covering her back, the bottle of gin that might be stuck between the seats and that she was on her way to freeway park to score a bag.  Anyway shortly thereafter I knew I should tell you about it…so there it is.

Well thank you for that visual, ONH.

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They say that if you sit by the river long enough, you’ll see the body of your enemy float by.  I’m not certain the full extent of that quote, but it says to me that if you wait long enough, you’ll eventually see it all.  Folks, I have now seen it all.

I just got off the phone with a lady who asked me if I had, or knew where to get, a recumbent tricycle that folds.  Yes, DP, you heard that right.  For the rest of you, it goes like this.

This is a recumbent, albeit a super high-tech one. You lay back on them and it helps reduce stress on your lower back.  People who ride them have bad backs or are getting on in years and need the support that they offer the entire body.  People who commute on them are cranky old curmudgeons who WILL NOT wear cycling clothes made of anything but wool.  Merino wool!  They will tell you all about why the recumbent is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and why you should stop riding your silly upright bike and buy a recumbent instead.  And just like a construction worker will tell you about why he’s smarter than the foreman, the recumbent rider will tell you all this without being asked to.  No healthy adult should ride a recumbent other than to see what it feels like to be a wee bit loony.

This is a tricycle. Notice that it has 3 wheels.  That’s because it’s difficult, at first, for a 3 yr old to balance on two wheels, but eventually they’ll get it, and then they’ll graduate to a 2-wheeler.  No adult should ride one unless they are so drunk that they’ll have to see the pictures later to believe the stories.

This is a folding bike. Notice how, in riding mode, it looks like it might not ride very well?  Like it’s unsafe?  Well that’s only because it’s about to fall apart on you as soon as you start to ride it.  There are usually a couple of locking link pieces strategically placed throughout the frame that enable the bike to lock, open and shut much like a Samsonite suitcase.  The difference being that the folding bike won’t hold up to a monkey beating on it.  Hell, it won’t hold up to a highly-evolved monkey like Homo Sapiens riding gingerly on it.  The only adult allowed to ride a folding bike is the non-cycling adult who is sailing around the world on their boat and needs the extra space for more liquor.

So far, I’ve covered the 3 basic aforementioned styles, and why you should never ride them.  But what happens when we start to mix these together?  I’ve never thought much about it until this lady just called.  She laughed when I started to say, “Uhhhhhhhh uuuhhhhhhhhhhh  uh…” in response to her request.  She said that they were fun to ride, to which I responded that they would be MUCH less fun to find, as a bike like that was a tall order.  Any one of those features, singly, I could find for her.  Hell, like Meatloaf sang, even two out of three ain’t bad, but a 3-wheeled recumbent that folds?  What are you, a geriatric alcoholic pirate retro-grouch?  Who needs a bike to be all three?  Be like the rest of us and get three different bikes, dammit!

Oh it gets better.  Can you believe that these, and these and these are that easy to find out there on the internets?

And after all that, I give you the actual item.  Ladies and gentleman, the Folding Recumbent Tricycle. The feature that I like the most is that after you fold it up, it’s not really any smaller than when it’s in riding mode.

I’ve been in the bike industry for 15+ years and while I’ve made jokes about full-suspension, downhill unicycles or other mythical bicycles that don’t exist, I NEVER thought I’d see or hear about a (I simply HAVE to say it again out loud, it’s messing with my head THAT badly) FOLDING RECUMBENT TRIKE!!!

What in THE fuck?  Houston, we have a no shit problem.  I almost want to tag this post under DREAMS, cuz I’m not sure I’m really here.

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Last week I was heading in to work on Whitty’s motorcycle.  For no reason I had a remembrance of something that had happened when I was an early teen.  It was Eric Eidsness, my sister and I and it went something like this:

Eric mentioned to us that he had a bad headache.  Nanny and I looked all over the house but there was no aspirin to found anywhere.  There was, however, some Midol that Nan had and since it was a painkiller, she offered Eric some.  He took it.

A few days later Eric came back over and he mentioned that the Midol worked.  He went on to say that he went home and told his dad (who was an EMT, FYI) about taking Midol, and Tim (his dad) said, “Oh great, did it get rid of your cramps?”

20 years later, I can still hear Tim’s patented sarcastic voice saying that, even though I wasn’t there when he’d originally said it.

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I’ve gotten both of these from Kessler via email.  If they don’t make you laugh, then you are un-laughable and you suck.

Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-long Blog

Heavy metal monk, no shit

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This just in:

Hey Chewy,

You gotta put this shit on your site, good stuff.

cheers,
DP

http://everydayathleteblog.com/2008/07/12/chris-horner-gives-fallen-rider-and-bike-a-2k-ride-to-the-finish/#more-322

On the one hand, I’m thinking that everybody involved with the Astana cycling team is pile of stinking garbage.  After all, we have questionable characters such as Tyler Hamilton and Alexandre Vinokourov, both of whom have been booted from teams and tours for allegedly doping (gotta put the “alleged” in there, cuz otherwise it’s libel or something right?  Cuz it’s just not true that they were doped, right?  Right?).  And I know that Vino isn’t even on the team, since he’s retired.  At least until the Olympics.  Then there’s Alberto Contador, who I’d like to believe is going to be some amazing phenom since he won the Tour last year and the Giro this year, but how many riders in their early 20s just take off and start winning Grand Tours?  Hmmmm…  Don’t get me started on Johan Bruyneel, who has a new book out called We Might As Well Be Doped or something like that.  Forget about Levi Leipheimer.  He’s the Nice Boy posterchild.  Hard working, as American as apple pie and all that, but he had his chances and he ain’t gonna win anything.  Whatever, that’s another post for another time.

On the other hand, I like Chris Horner and I don’t know why.  His interviews make him seem genuine.  He laughs and jokes around and seems like a real person.  And he’s never placed high enough in anything to make me think he’s doping.  So when I saw this out there, I thought “Way to go, dude.  That shows a little class.”  As it turns out, the Astana team came to the US for the Cascade Classic bike race.  So much for Bruyneel’s idea of riding the Tour de France route in reverse in protest of not being let into the Tour…  But back to the current post.  Chris Horner apparently came across another racer who had crashed and was in bad shape so he did what we all used to do.  Need a ride?  Hop on back, I’ll pedal you to where we’re both going.  No shit, Horner had the other rider jump on his saddle with his bike, and he pedalled the guy the final kilometers to the finish line!  Uphill.  Both ways.  In the snow, barefoot and shit.  AND HE LIKED IT!!!

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This one’s for you, Nan.

For everyone else, here’s how it works.  One time, Nanny and I were walking at night in DC.  We had walked to the Lincoln Memorial and were making our way back to the Metro station when we decided to go by the White House.  As we got near an intersection, we both saw the same thing a few blocks away.

A line of about 10 people all riding Segways, looking like a line of elephants, trunk to tail.  It was the most hilariously stupid thing I’d seen in a long time.  Nancy grabbed my arm and started laughing so hard she started coughing.

It was hilarious.

So when I saw this, I first had to do the old blink and shake my head just to make sure I was actually seeing what I was seeing!  Holy shit, I GOTTA get a picture for Nan!

So I did.  Here it is.

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