I got this email forwarded to me by Mudbutt. He prefaced the email by saying that the best part of all of it was that he wasn’t even there. I debated for a day or two whether to post it here, but I just HAD to. It’s pretty damn funny.
Greetings:
We are going to need the money back that John Doe lent you at Rick’s Strip Club. He spent over $400 buying lap dances/drinks for everyone (not himself he says–ummm, right). We can’t afford to spend that much money and I am definitely not okay with it spent on filth. You know how many dances/drinks you got out of it so please tally it up and send the check to:
John or Jane Doe
XXXX Random Lane
Hometown, WA 98XXX
The only people I know of who where there for sure are Mudbutt, Rico and Tubbs so please let the other guys know they need to pay too–again the total was around $400 and I am expecting all of it back.
Thank you and I look forward to receiving your check in the mail.
Jane Doe
P.S. No, I am not joking.
P.P.S. The next time you go out to do “single guy stuff,” please do not include my husband. He is a married man and though you may not yet understand it, this kind of thing is not acceptable in a marriage.
Lady’s telling the immature ‘single guy’ people that this kind of thing is not acceptable, but her husband thinks it is. WHOA, hey now!
Carry on…
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I don’t know what’s going on. I have always been a dog person. Dogs are cool. I’ve not always been a cat person, mostly because I don’t know what the fuck is going on behind those eyes. Dogs? You know what’s up. Partly from body language and whatever the tail is doing, but mostly? Dogs have fukn eyebrows! They make expressions! Cats? Not so much. They look at you. They meow at you. That’s about it. Or so I thought.
I don’t know when it happened, but I like cats now and they like me, but the thing that freaks me out? If I show up and hang out at your pad for a while? If I take off an article of clothing, your cat will find it and rub up against it and then fall asleep on it. I’m like catnip or something. I don’t know…
The picture is Zeppelin. I think he’s a He. He meows at me. He rubs against my legs. He absolutely HAS to be in the other room for no reason RIGHT NOW. He’s a cat. He’s asleep on my vest.
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Amsterdam, where they wear wooden shoes, prostitution is legal, and coffee shops sell pot. Well guess what? There seems to be a shitload of bikes there too, as evidenced by these photos. Pretty cool, I say.
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Sometimes you turn around and you see something that stops you cold. And it makes you wonder. Are these people for fukn real?
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The great thing about the damn internet is the complete randomness of it all. You wanna see a Star Wars spoof filmed using dolls? It’s out there. You wanna see this guy? He’s there. And yes, if you wanna buy a decommissioned missile silo to live in, you can. Check it out…
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This is hilarious. My lungs are so harshed out from coughing and illness I sound like Darth Vader with a pack-a-day habit, and Matt is so stuffed up, he sounds like Kenny.
That’s all.
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Being sick is mostly considered to be excellent. You get to have a scratchy throat, which makes you wanna cough at times, which in turn is at least uncomfortable, if not painful. Then there’s the “I’m sure my sinuses are stuffed up because my skull feels like it’s floating, but I can’t hawk up a loogie for the life of me!”, which is also mildly discomforting. Oh yeah, what about the smell of all that snot-stew roiling about in your upper regions. Or the small pieces of olive-drab spackle that the hot shower loosens up for you?
Yeah, I wish I was sick all the time. Oh wait, I almost forgot the cherry on that mucus-green sundae! Riding your bike in the cold weather. Yeah…that’s where it’s at. Getting to where you’re going and being covered in that layer of cold sweat until you’re absolutely certain that it’s not just a light sneeze, but a full-on cold that’s going to be crashing out in your lungs for a week at least.
As long as there’s stuff like this to surf on the web, I think I’ll make it.
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I have some serious issues with the stupid internets at my house. For whatever reason, our modem or router (don’t know which one) chooses when and if I’m allowed to access the internets from my computers. Some days, I can’t get on at all, and some days I’m on and surfing like Kelly Slater. Two big problems with that though, are that if I have to download an update or something that’s bigger than 10 or so megs, the download just freezes up in the middle of the download. Sweet. And you can absolutely FORGET about YouTube or streaming anything.
Hey, you should check out the new Lord of the Rings pt7 trailer, it’s awesome!
Hey, you should shove it up your ass, I have to leave my house to do that!
The other problem is that if I get up to deal with laundry or go to the bathroom or whatever, and if the computer goes into screensaver or sleep mode, that will sever the internet connection. So last night I was posting about my inability to make the computer work right sometimes, and I was having trouble with my connection. End result is that the last post was on there in triplicate this morning when I looked at the site.
And my computer’s battery is officially dying, so now I have to go to the Apple Store and see what outlandish fee they are going to charge to tell me that there’s something wrong with the battery.
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I don’t remember where I heard that, but it’s true. I know just enough about computers to make them do some neat things sometimes and then HOLY SHIT, why is there smoke coming from the hard-drive? That’s the tough part for me. Getting the smoke to stop billowing out of the damn thing. Give me a bicycle. If it’s acting weird, I can fix it. It might cost you quite a bit of money, but I can figure it out. Even if you or I don’t have all the right parts, I bet I can make it work long enough to get you home without breaking anything any further.
Not so much with the computer.
In the last iteration of the site, I had it so that the image in the header would change at random. For some reason I can’t get that same feature to work with the site’s current theme. The thing is, I know that I’ll come back and investigate in a week or so, and it will appear to me as obvious how to do it. Right now though, all the pages of PHP, HTML and CSS appear as complete gibberish to me. Which in itself is weird, because if you know me, you’ll know that I’m fluent in Gibberish.
Whatever…
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In a recent post, a friend by the nom de plume of Mudbutt posted a comment. Mudbutt sometimes has ideas that he shares with us from time to time. Some are better than others, but they’re all funny as shit. So, I bought a bass recently and Mudbutt said that I have to wear a beret every time I play it. Hmmmm, sounds good. I even own a beret. And then I thought that since I have, in addition to the beret, another piece of questionable headgear, I might as well wear that when I play my guitar. So now I wear my beret when I play bass, and I wear my ghutra when I play the guitar. Just thought you should know that…
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