If that were the name of a metal song, it would be Moving Sucks (No Imgs) or Moving Sucks (…no imgs). And it would be by the band Blastphemy. Or Blastphemer. Oooo or BlastFemur.

Forget this shit, if you ever try to take that band name, I’ll kill you. Besides, it’s here right now on the web on my site, so it’s copyrighted ChewyKolchuk 2007, and that means you lose!

But I digress…

We moved the bike shop from one location to another this weekend. As we all know, moving SUCKS. But you do it and that’s just how it goes. If you do it right, it turns out to be an Event that happens in your life. Last weekend was that. The only problem right now is that I can’t login to the server to post the pics. I’ll have to cuss at my webservemastercylinder and get him to flip a switch somewhere. In the meantime, here’s the commentary that accompanies all the bitchin pics that will soon be on this post. It goes a little something like this…

We started moving on Thursday kind of, when we had all the folks that had worked there in that location. We had pizza and beers and Dave’s chitlins watched that animated penguins/surfing movie that came out recently. Which meant that we all watched that. Dean and I live near each other, so we hit the local watering hole which is 5 blocks from our places. Just one shot of tequila to close the shop down all Official Style and shit.

Friday, we started moving for real, and wouldn’t you know it, Adam drove up from Santa Rosa for the weekend just to hang out. Waitaminit, SANTA ROSA!? Yeah. 850 miles. Well, let’s do it. Adam had his first Rainier in many a moon, so I hooked him up and then we all went to the local watering hole again on the way home.

Saturday was balls to the wall. Box, pack, toss, dismantle, lift…you know the deal. Dave’s son Levi showed up in a cape, as most superheroes do. His cape seemed to be made from a dish towel, which isn’t surprising since obviously he needs to keep his secret identity a secret. He showed up completely in disguise, which went so far as to have him wearing secret Image-Altering Lipstick, which he applied by eating a mountain of Doritos. He also was wearing a single orange glove on his eating hand, which I bet covered up his Super Kung Fu Fist. The capper though, was the duct tape holding the cape together. I mean come on! Superheroes aren’t so completely badass that they can just do away with duct tape! EVERYBODY needs duct tape in their lives. PERIOD. But I digress again… We took loads to the new place and then we all went out to dinner, when we were met by Adam and his two brothers. Followed by another teeny tiny little visit to the local watering hole on the way home again. No tequila.

Sunday? I hate moving. It sucks. But at least we had this guy prodding us along. Every chance I got, I would yell at somebody in my bad Aussie accent, “Harden the fuck up!” Yeah, that was good times. One of the funniest parts was definitely throwing spackle on the walls. We put so many holes in the walls from both installing fixtures (those mirrors were a direct attack on the north wall) and from inexperienced bike folks bashing their pedals into the walls going in and out of the shop. Holy crap, we had a pin cushion for walls.

But! We got it done and we absolutely STUFFED the new place in a completely haphazard fashion. We are so packed, we got bikes in the bathroom, just chillin. And for the rest of the week, we have mobile obligations, so we won’t get back to unpacking until Saturday. One thing’s for sure, I’m sleeping in on Saturday.

This is Chewy, he reckons he needs his beauty sleep because he hasn’t had a day off in some time. Hey Chewy, it would be adviseable for you to harden the fuck up!

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I posted last week about going and getting a physical. The last thing that happened there was that they drew blood so that they could run some tests. Cholesterol and HIV tests. I wasn’t too worried about the HIV, but I’ve never been tested before, so I thought “Let’s just do it.” Well, I got a call this morning saying that sure enough, I’m negative for HIV. But my cholesterol is high, so I have to go back in a month. Okay then, I guess it’s gonna be goodbye pizza and steak and hello bran and oatmeal. My cornhole will have SOMEONE to thank soon enough I suppose.
I decided to send a txt msg to a bunch of my buddies. It read:

“Tests came back from physical. Cholesterol is high, but I’m HIV negative. Wanna make out? You’d be safe and it would be good for my heart.”

Here are some of the replies:

• Mikey said “Hell yeah!”
• Dudeman said “Fuck yeah! LET’S GET IT ON!”
• Dean said “Shit! You mean I totally could have taken advantage of you last night without any repercussions? FUCK!”
• Dave R said, “LOL! Ummm. Wow. I don’t know how to respond to that.”

Well, Dave…just say yes or no.  If the answer is yes, then close your eyes and just go with it.  Jesus…

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When I worked at one of the local bike manufacturers, I was on the phone all day talking to bike shops.  When answering phones, I would say “Thank you for calling the bike division, this is Chuck, how may I help you?”  Here are some of the goofy ones I’d get immediately after that:

• “Uh yeah, Craig, I need…”
• “Hey Doug, I was wondering…”
• “Hi John, do you have…”

I can understand that there are glitches with the phones and folks won’t always hear you correctly, or maybe I’d had too much coffee that morning (I was and still am notorious for making some seriously thick, black, crude coffee), or whatever.  But I got a new one today when calling a bike manufacturer and talking to him for about 10 minutes.  I think he clean forgot my name and was fishing for SOMETHING, anything, because when I said thank you and goodbye, he said, “Alright, thanks Brad-tchhhh.”  Or maybe it was Branch.  I don’t know.  I DO know that it was lightyears away from how you actually pronounce my real name and I don’t have any umlauts above any letters in my name.  As far as I know.

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Dave R came to the bikeshop tonight. He brought his kids, Piper and Levi. Piper is 5 or 6 and Levi is 3ish? So while they were all here, Brent called. He and I were talking about stupid shit, as is our wont, and he asked me to hand the phone over to Dave so they could discuss some very important shit. Who knows what they were talking about, but I heard Dave say something like, “Yeah…whiskey and porn.” And as cute and absent-minded as one could possibly be, Levi echoed his old man, “….whiskey and porn…”. Except that it sounded more like “whistey and toworn”.

Way to go, buddy!

Popularity: unranked [?]

This post might not make it. I had big plans earlier to post some photos and change the header, but my FTP (file transfer protocol) client wasn’t able to connect to my server, which most likely means that the Pimbasworld server (which I like to call MY server) got switched off or something along those lines. Incidently, I noticed that there’s a new post on Pimbasworld. First one in almost a month. Sweet, buddy.
Anyway, so what’s new? Well…
Last week Seattle had a big storm come through and weird shit happened. First off, the winds picked up pretty good. Those of you who have lived in FL or 2-3 states in either direction won’t be impressed, but for Seattle the winds were good and solid. People were out of power, we actually heard thunder and we had hail the size of AK blueberries (bigger than peas, but smaller than grapes)! OMIGOD!!! I got to work on Friday and a few hours later, the hail and thunder hit. Dean and I were laughing at the craziness, because as the hail started falling we went outside to check it out. As soon as we opened the door we got sandblasted by the hail (it was falling hard and blowing fast) and it was a winter wonderland outside. For about 15 minutes. Seriously, you’d be SO impressed if I were able to connect with my FTP (float the pictures) client, because within 5 minutes, it went from just rain to icy street out front. And I have the photos to prove it!
In addition, I have a photo of the two cats sleeping with each other on the couch here. I’d say that the black one is skittish and only opened up to me one time, and that the grey one is totally a friendly cat, but there’s no point since my FTP (feline technical photo) client is down at the moment and you can’t see which is which. However I can tell you that I got up today and had to run down to the new location for our bike shop to help paint the place. I was gone all day, and I knew I would be, so I fed the fish and the cats, and cleaned out the cat box and off I went. When I got back 9 hours later I couldn’t find grey kitty. I looked all over and finally found him locked in the room that I sleep in. He wasn’t pissed (I hope, I haven’t checked my stuff in there to see if he crapped in my backpack), he just started to rub against my leg so vigorously that I thought he’d wear a hole in my pant legs. I’m wearing denim, folks. It was that serious. Poor kitty.
I guess the only thing now is to hit the ‘publish’ button to see if this post will go through. I’m hoping that I can still add content even though I’m doing this online without the FTP (fuck this post) client. After all, if the server is down then it doesn’t matter how the info is supposed to come into it, it’s down. We’ll see.

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I don’t know either, I’m just bored. I have The History Channel on in the background and they’re talking about how the Chinese were producing advanced weapons of war way back when and how incredibly intricate the various mechanisms were.

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Kate showed me this one the other day. It’s so much better than finding a site that simply shows the kids in Tokyo and the wacky shit that they wear, or the kids in L.A. and what they wear, because these freaky Finnish kids wear all of that shit and more. You GOTTA look at this site. www.hel-looks.com
Oh yeah, I put it in the linkableness section for your enjoyableness.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Well, that was lackluster. I went to the doctor and got a physical. I didn’t know what to expect, except that I hadn’t had a physical in a long time. Okay, so I go to the counter and I end up being led to the exam room by a lady with a thick Spanish accent. I was told I might get a female doctor, so okay, let’s get this over with. The lady asks me all the prelim questions, she weighs me (I’m a FAT PIG) and takes my vitals. She then says, “Okay the doctor will be with you in a moment.”
Oh. Okay.
When the doctor shows up, she turns out to be quite attractive and immediately I’m thinking, “Oh shit! I gotta drop my drawers, and YOU’RE going to check my oil? Oh man…”
But, none of that happened, which was both a relief and a letdown. I mean, hey I’m here, let’s do it, ya know? Whatever, I did get hooked up to an EKG though. That lasted all of 30 seconds and now I have a couple of circles shaved into my chest hair. Sweet.
End result? I’m healthy, with a good heartbeat, good blood pressure and now I’m immunized against tetanus and the flu and against prostostatisteeneioneestistone, or something like that. And I’ll see where my cholesterol levels are at in a few days.
I’d sure hate to have had to show her what Big Jonny shows us on Drunk Cyclist. I sure dodged that bullet.

Popularity: unranked [?]

I felt something weird with my heartbeat about two weeks ag, so I decided not to fuck around and I’d go get me a physical. It’s today. And since I’m 36, I figure I should have them go all the way. Pop the hood, 36-point inspection, lube, oil AND filter, ya know what I’m saying? The thing is that I’m under the impression that it’s going to be a female doctor performing the exam. Cool, I’m gonna get her digits. Up my butt. Oh man…

At least this is cool: http://www.wired.com/techbiz/it/news/2007/10/ps3_supercomputer#

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Just surfing around while doing laundry at Delta Foxtrot’s place. I’m housesitting the kitties and the fishies for a week. Anyway, surfing around them internets when I found this. It’s a video of what it might look like to blast out into space past our galaxy and to the next closest ones and even beyond.

Of course, the web isn’t just for fascinating things, like this, it’s also for awesome shit like this. Enjoy. You’re welcome.

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