1. My buddy Jason asked me if I could housesit for him. I said yes. IDIOT!
2. I know that he lives 50 miles south of me, and I’d be in traffic for 2 hrs or so each day. I still said yes. IDIOT!
3. He’s got two big cattle-herding dogs who are pretty high-strung. I said yes. Damn, I’m an IDIOT!
4. In addition, there are 3, count em, 1-2-3 fukn PSYCHO cats who alternate between being WAY OVERLY needy in the HoldingPettingandRubbing Dept, and being pretty much terrified of all humans. Open the door and walk into the room? PSSSOOOOOMMMM!!!! There’s a puff of frikkn smoke where once there was a Siamese cat. One cat, fine. Two cats, okay. 3 damn cats – ALL psychos. What an IDIOT!
However, there actually are perks to this whole scenario. As I was making-and then eating-my dinner, I was able to hear the damn cat(s) out in the other room. And they were clearly trying their damnedest to destroy the damn place, which was getting on my damn nerves, cuz all I wanted to do was eat my damn steak without any furry, four-legged intrusions, zeemdamnzane? But the funny thing was the poor dogs. They both knew I was getting pissed and the worried looks on their faces were frikn priceless! One would look at me, as though to say, “Dude, I wish I could eat that damn cat so you could read, but I don’t think they’d like it if I did that, so believe that I’m sincere when I say that you’re on your own.” The other would look at me and look away, like he was thinking, “I just KNOW that scheming cat is going to blame everything on us, and then we won’t get to eat bacon ever again DAMMIT! I truly hope that doesn’t come to pass.”
I mean, seriously, these dogs are super-intelligent and completely in tune with their surroundings, so it’s both annoying and fascinating to watch them in action. I’ll take photos so that you can see these mutts and their rakish good looks.
Who is writing this shit?
And the names of all these assholes? The dogs are Roscoe and Picasso, while the damn cats are Little Baby (I think), Dudeman, and Frank. Little Baby and Dudeman took a bit to warm up, but they’re fine now. And Frank? He glares at me.
Idiot…
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Then there are the ailurophobes – those who do not merely dislike cats but experience hate, fear and nausea in their presence. The feline demon comes into its own with its blazing eyes and its monstrous fangs and claws. The devil-cat emerges from the center of sexual orgies of witches’ Sabbats and of the ceremonies of black magicians. The vampire-cat sucks the blood of sleeping men, and the feline succubus drain their vitality.
This passage came from a site called Pawprints N Purrs, Inc. Purrs and paws my ass! Demon succubus and hellspawn orgy more like it! Watch yer back Chewy!