So you’ll notice the previous post. I was at a bar, showing Molly how easy it was to post things on a web site. We’d gotten together to try to get her site off the ground because she has a food-related business and she asked me how to get the web side of it together (like I would know, yeah right!).
I don’t know what time it was, but we’d finished our business and our food, and Molly had to bail. Okay, take care. I scooped up my things and headed to the bathroom before jumping on the bike and heading out. While I was in the bathroom, I was able to hear a guy on the pay phone outside the bathroom making his call. My first thought as I headed into the bathroom was, “Who uses a pay phone anymore? Doesn’t this guy have a cell phone? Whatever…I gotta pee.”. But as I was peeing, I heard this guy saying something about “We have an officer down.” I’m thinking, “This could be some serious shit! Who is this guy, he doesn’t look Cop to me, but then again what does an undercover cop look like?” I laughed out loud and did my business and started to leave.
When I got out of the bathroom, I saw this guy hovering over the phone and saying that there was an officer down and that the suspects were a bartender and a pair of women….blahblahblah. As I’m on my way out, I’m thinking, “Oh the Undercover guy is calling in his predicament to dispatch or 911.”
Now waitaminit…
Officer Down is a biggie. I mean a BIGGIE! And this guy was sort of cavalier about it, so I started thinking that maybe I’ll unlock my bike and wait to see what happens. At the very least, I’ll see something weird go down, but he did mention the VERY intersection where my bike was locked. Hmmmm
Sure enough, I start to hear sirens. And before I get my bike unlocked, there’s a cop pulling into the intersection and looking all around (for a fallen comrade in the street, I suppose). So I walk out there and say to the cop as he’s getting out of his car, “I heard a guy making a 911 call, he’s on the payphone back in that bar.” So the cop heads in there with the other cops who have shown up by this time (lots of them).
Well, I ain’t gonna miss this shit, so I go back into the bar and start grabbing a seat at the bar itself. A couple people had seen me talk to the cop and point, so they asked me what was going on. “I don’t know, but I’m gonna get a beer and watch.” And sure enough, a cop says to me, “Can I talk to you outside?”
Uhhh, sure…
So he’s asking me about race, age, height, all that when I say to him, “I didn’t see his face, but he was wearing this, that, and his hair (from behind) was like this, and you know, if I had to point at somebody at the bar, I’d point at that guy.” And I did, cuz there was a guy who fit my mental picture. At this point they ask my for my name, address, all that and HOLY SHIT, there’s about 7 or 8 cop cars in the intersection and it’s the real deal. I’m talking to a 2nd cop, giving a statement about what I knew and they let me go.
So I’m unlocking my bike, and as I’m doing so, I see that they’re talking to the guy I pointed out to them. This was the perfect time to snap a photo, cuz GODAMMIT it’s going on my website, nowutimeen?
They get the guy outside, and he’s being a pretty cool customer. “Hey boys. What, no ladies this time?” And as I’m getting my goodies into and out of my bag, they start hauling him off to one of the cop cars. He wasn’t too into it, either. F bombs were flying from him left and right, which I thought was funny cuz he was probably in his 50s or something. He was trying to say a bunch of shit about them violating his rights and how he was on private property having a drink (private? You’re in a bar, dipshit. aka, PUB house. Hmmmm)
So I get my bike and sit down, cuz maybe they wanna ask me a couple more questions. But it was cold out and I wanted to get on my bike and get warm, so I went up to the cop who I originally talked to and asked him if I could go since they already had my info and phone number. He started to ask me more questions when the bartender from the bar across the street came up and said that he’d kicked this guy out like a half hour ago. Ahhhhh…
So the cop said I was free to go.
As I was leaving, some bystanders asked me, “Are you the one he hit?”
Oh, okay, now it all makes sense. And I’m no cop, but here goes… Some dingdong gets drunk in a bar. Maybe he gets cut off, maybe not, but he gets kicked out. Maybe he hits somebody, maybe not, but he goes to the next bar and calls 911 to get back at the Asshole who had cut him off/kicked him out.
Shithead didn’t count on me to finger him. Not like that, just to point, you sick people. At any rate, I can add Crimefighter to my resume now.
Yeah, I like that. Chewy Kolchuk: Crimefighter
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